It doesn’t matter how healthy your relationship is, inevitably you will get into an argument somewhere along the way. More than likely, you’ve been in fights before and will get into a fight again. Fighting is normal and actually can be a great way to learn more about your man. While it’s certainly never pleasant, it’s a good way to work out deeper issues and become closer.
The thing is, most of the fighting we do as a couple isn’t worth the effort and could be completely avoided. Here’s how:
1. Take a deep breath.
When you’re ready to start yelling at him, instead, take a deep breath or have a sip of water. Those extra five seconds of thought can really make a huge difference in preventing a potential blow-out. Think thoroughly about what you’re going to say before blurting out something you might regret or may not even mean.
2. Try and see things from his point of view.
Take an extra second and try to see his point of view in the situation. Even if it doesn’t change your viewpoint at all, it’s good for you to attempt to understand his actions. This may also help you formulate your questions for him better or explain to him that you’re trying to understand, but you just don’t.
3. Swallow your pride if you’re in the wrong.
If you’re at fault, don’t get defensive. Own up to your mistake and just apologize. It will make the whole experience much easier and much faster than a long drawn out fight. Especially if it’s something you don’t normally do, learn from your mistakes and walk away. Guys like to fight even less than we do, so he’ll likely just forget about everything 10 minutes later.
4. Give him time for an explanation.
If he’s in the wrong, don’t immediately begin lecturing him about how terrible he is. Give him a minute or so to tell his story before accusing him of something he may not have done. Never assume anything! Wait until you know the facts before arguing with him and accusing him of lying.
5. Don’t bring up past fights unless it’s really applicable.
Don’t bring old baggage into a new fight if you can help it. Unless it’s something that’s literally been done before, just talk about the immediate issue and nothing else. It may make him (or you) even more angry.