There’s no perfect formula for a successful marriage. Each pair is different and has to work out their own special system to make it work. Still, it’s always a good reminder to hear about what the other half thinks works. We were lucky enough to sit down with one of our favorite married men recently and talk a bit about marriage. He’s been married for a couple of years now and even has the cutest little boy who just joined their family. He told us his five tips for a successful marriage from a guy’s perspective.
1. Do ferrands together
Ferrands are fake errands. You don’t have to actually need to go to Target. Maybe you just want to buy Sriracha peas or one of your other guilty pleasures. Just hang out together. Half of married life is just hanging out, mostly in the car or on the couch, so get used to hanging out with this other person. If you don’t like hanging out with a person, don’t marry them.
2. Little gifts go a long way, especially when they are unexpected
Buy them gifts periodically. It doesn’t have to be huge gestures or expensive items, it could be as simple as sweets or their favorite alcohol. As Pavlov learned, conditioned responses are best created when you vary the schedule of the stimuli.
3. Give them their own time to be their own person
This includes work, volunteering, hobbies… basically, anything that makes that person the one you fell in love with. You married a girl probably because you liked one of these attributes, so why not let that activity flourish? As long as it doesn’t get in the way of your marriage, it’s completely healthy.
4. Play to each other’s strengths
If they are the finance person, submit, trust them, and get your nose out of the finance side of your house. Whatever it is, let them shine. Submission, and I don’t mean sexually, is extremely important in marriage and relationships.
5. Know when to walk away
Little arguments can escalate quickly. Walking away from an argument is hard because we all want to win. Marriage is not about winning, it’s about you two as a team.
