It takes a lot of strength from an independent person to have a long-distance relationship and it also takes a lot of strength to admit that it is not enough anymore.
Say you’re sorry
If your loved one is hurt, even if they are at fault, apologizing for your part in the fight can get you a lot farther than blaming. Honey does catch more flies than vinegar.
If you honestly feel that you are completely in the right you can still say that you are sorry for the reactions you and your mate had towards the situation. No matter what, I am sure that upsetting him or her was the last thing that you wanted to do. This does not mean to minimize your feelings in any way only to take the focus off “who’s to blame” and put it where it belongs – on the problem at hand. Once the other person is off the defensive, it makes the issue something that you’re facing together instead of at odds. By doing this it will help the two of you to remember that you are both on the same side, with the same ultimate goal in mind – mutual happiness.
Choose your words carefully
This moves us on to another old cliché that I despise – “Always fight fair”. When it comes to relationships, your main objective should be to not fight. I am not talking about a perfect fairytale where you never disagree with your significant other because fights will happen, even in the most secure of couples. I just do not understand why people prepare for a fight like they would a political debate or, worse yet, like they are going into combat. So, choose your words carefully and plan ahead of time how you can be considerate of your partner’s views, do not dismiss them.
Honesty is key
The key to any relationship is honesty. If something is bothering you, then by all means, say so. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is truly what’s wrong. Make sure that you are not just turning your loneliness into something else. The biggest mistake that people make in a long-distance relationship is to channel their feelings of longing for one another into a trivial matter, and then end up fighting.
Re-evaluate and restructure the relationship
If the main complaint is being apart from your loved one, then tell him or her how you feel. If you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be time to re-evaluate and restructure the relationship. It may only take a few more phone calls or chat sessions during the week to improve things between the two of you immensely.
Maybe, using some saved-up vacation time is in order. Both of you taking time off is preferable so you can renew your love. But if only one of you can skip work, still go and visit the other. (Who knows? That person may end up loving it and decide to stay.) If it’s been a truly good relationship, loneliness very rarely means an ending to it all. It can “make the heart grow fonder” as long as you stay truthful in your communications with one another.
Relocate
If the distance between the two of you has become a major issue, then it may be time to talk about one of you relocating. But before starting this conversation make sure that you have tried everything else to improve the relationship and that this kind of life-altering commitment is what you truly want. Remember, it is a long-distance relationship for a reason. Whether because of a job, family, or a mixture of things – one of you will be giving up something important enough to warrant being apart in the first place.
